Kyle and I had only been dating a few weeks, when our friend Denise talked me into buying tickets for the dinner, which was nearly two months later. I didn't have any idea if Kyle and I would even still be dating when the dinner rolled around, but Denise was very persuasive, and I bought the tickets anyway. My friend, Amy, bought tickets too, so we figured if we didn't have dates, we would just go and enjoy ourselves.
But, Kyle and I were still together, and that night was such a fun one. I got a new dress, and had my hair and make-up done. Kyle showed up at Amy's to pick the two of us up and had a rose for each of us. Talk about brownie points!
And although neither of us is much into dancing, when the first slow song came on, I took Kyle out to the dance floor, for what has now sort of become our song.
I admit it seems a bit odd, when there are other songs that may tell our story better, like Blake Shelton's "God Gave Me You" (for the ups and downs) or Rascal Flatt's "God Bless the Broken Road." But we've sort of always stuck with "Wonderful Tonight."
I feel wonderful because I see
The love light in your eyes
And the wonder of it all
Is that you just don't realize
how much I love you
As the chorus refrain plays in my head, I stop and think about what the words mean to us. I think it's sometimes easy to be "hopelessly devoted" in the beginning of any relationship. Both partners are on their best behavior, trying to impress the other, and show how much they really do feel for each other.
But as life takes over, some of those simple gestures seem to fall by the wayside, and it's easy to take that other person for granted, just expecting they will always be there. It's easy to lose that "wonderful" sort of feeling.
One of our favorite Christmas gifts each year is a devotional book my mom gets us that we read daily together. There's one that always sticks out in my mind. Someone had gone to their pastor and said he just didn't love his spouse anymore. And the pastor said that love was not a noun, but rather an action verb, and that if he wanted to feel those loving feelings, then he needed to act lovingly to his spouse. It's kind of in line with the Kirk Cameron movie, "Fireproof."
And though that sounds simple enough, I'm here to tell you that marriage is hard, every single day. Add in the stresses of work and raising children, and it's easy to see how one can feel taken for granted.
But in our house, most nights before bed, we take a few moments to write in our "Blessings Book." Each of us has to write at least five things we were grateful for that day. Some days it's harder than others, but we can always find small things, like getting to have lunch together or take a walk as a family. It sort of helps the two of us refocus on what really matters, and finding "wonderful" moments to spend together.
Some days, it's easy to find my way into a pity party, because raising a child with a terminal illness is hard. I find myself angry that our family can't do things many consider "normal." Even just taking both girls to a ball game is a big job, especially trying to work around Grace's eating schedule. Some days, it's almost more than I can bear, wishing for things to be different.
But on those days, it's more important than ever to remember that life can be wonderful. I have to work hard at that every single day, and Kyle and I still fight more than either of us would probably care to admit. And even though life is hard, and that it's easy to take the ones you love the most for granted, really good things happen when we remember that life will always be full of "wonderful" moments. Sometimes you just have to look harder to find them and remember
Oh my darling, you were