Meet The First Herschelman To Be Early

They say there's a first time for everything, and I think it's the first time in our married life that we have actually been early for anything!

Kyle, Grace and I welcomed Charlotte Grace Herschelman into the world in the wee hours of the morning on Feb. 18, two weeks before she was scheduled to arrive by c-section.  We weren't exactly ready, but she came nonetheless.

Her arrival started on Friday morning, when Kyle and I took Grace to Springfield for her weekly physical therapy sessions.  After lunch at Cracker Barrel, we headed to the Springfield Clinic to see my doctor for what we thought was a routine check-up. However, a sonogram revealed low amniotic fluid, and the doctor came to tell us we would meet Charlotte either Friday or Saturday.

Our two beautiful girls

As he left the room, Kyle and I both started to panic a little bit. Nevermind the fact that we both had several stories to do up for the paper, but we hadn't had time to clean up Charlotte's room or even put her crib together.  And as I tearfully told Kyle, we don't even have a camera!  

But after getting me settled into the hospital, Kyle was able to get Grace to his parents' house where she would stay, and run home and get a few things for us, including a camera.  Thanks to several other deliveries that night, Kyle even made it back to help me welcome Charlotte into the world.  

She's absolutely perfect, and Grace seems to be enamored with her new role as a big sister.  Grace loves to watch Charlotte wiggle and squiggle, and we have enjoyed reading books to both of them.  As we have enjoyed being home with them the past few days, it truly feels like our family is complete.

However, although Charlotte's delivery came early, her journey actually began more than two years ago.  Even before we knew what INAD stood for, Kyle and I knew we wanted a sibling for Grace. We are both very close with our adult siblings, and wanted Grace to have that chance too.  

But then Grace was diagnosed with INAD, where the odds were 25 percent of having another child with INAD using conventional methods, and we just didn't think that was fair.  So, we began talking with Grace's geneticist about the possibility of in vitro fertilization or IVF, with pre-genetic testing of the embryos.  

I admit I didn't know much about the process, but I studied genetics in high school, and I figured how hard could it be? Turns out, a lot harder than I thought, but worth every single shot, every single hormone and every single trip to St. Louis.

Since most of Grace's doctors are in St. Louis through Washington University and Children's Hospital, we opted to see Dr. Kenan Omurtag at Washington University, and it was a great experience all the way around.  He was just as invested as we were in helping to expand our family, and there with us every step of the way.

The first time we tried it, we were unsuccessful at getting pregnant. Originally, we were just going to try the one time, but our doctor encouraged us to give it one more try.  This time, we were able to have 7 embryos tested for INAD, including two that had two healthy copies of the gene, meaning that Charlotte isn't even a carrier for INAD.  

Although our odds were increased to implant more than one embryo, the idea of taking care of twins and Grace seemed like a big job, and we were lucky enough to get pregnant the second time around.

I never counted all the shots or all the medicines we had to take, though I'm sure they numbered more than 100. I never measured all the miles we drove back and forth to St. Louis for blood work and ultrasounds. Instead, we found ourselves blessed with the chance to add to our little family, a chance we never would have had without the science and technology of IVF.

Although it's one of the hardest things we have ever done, we will forever be grateful that Charlotte Grace Herschelman arrived in our lives, even if it was early for the first, and probably the last time, on this Grace-Filled Journey.

#foreverhappydays Hits 1,000

"Happiness is letting go of what you think your life is supposed to look like 

and celebrating it for everything that it is." 

~Mandy Hale 

It seems hard to believe that we started our "happy days" journey 1,000 days ago. For those keeping track, that's more than two and a half years, and it's a safe bet to say that lots has changed since we started.

Day 1 - Our first official happy days photo.

Day 4 - She's always the star of our happy days.

We have to give credit to our friend, Stephanie Carls, for introducing us to the idea of #100happydays. She had done it on Facebook, and we decided to give it a try. The premise is quite simple. Just look for something that makes you happy every day for 100 days in a row. It had been a particularly trying time for us, and we thought it might help give us a new outlook on life.

The first picture we posted was a photo of the two of us snuggling on the couch, and we both posted the same photo to start. After that, most of our photos included Grace, because she seems to make us happy most of the time.

Day 23 - Playing with my favorite princess at our house.

Day 145 - Grace was the flowergirl at my cousin Rachel's wedding.

Grace was about two and a half when we started our happy days campaign, and although we were well involved with physical therapy several times a week, she had not yet been diagnosed with INAD. It seems like we've learned a lot since then.

And though the premise is simple, some days it was tough to find something that made us happy. But that's also the beauty of the concept. It doesn't necessarily mean that you have to have 100 happy days in a row, you just have to find happy moments in those days. Even on days where we felt defeated, we always stop and find a moment in the day that made us happy.

Day 190 - Kisses at the preschool Thanksgiving program.

Day 193 - Working hard during physical therapy.

Very quickly, our 100 days was up, and since it was something we had become accustomed to, Kyle and I decided we would keep up the project on our own, and adopted the hastag #foreverhappydays. We also wrote a blog when we hit the 500 day mark, and just this weekend, we hit day 1,000.

Although it was something Kyle and I noticed, we were a little surprised to see that others were excited for us to reach this milestone too. Kyle's sister asked if we were going to do anything special to celebrate, and his aunt posted on my Facebook wall how excited she was. Even a friend at church stopped to tell us how much our happy days photos have blessed her.

Day 343 - Family game night at home.

Day 451 - Our Dorothy in the Old Settlers Kiddie Parade.

Day 492 - Grace loves to be the leader at preschool.

But the more we talked about it, the more we realized that we didn't want to do something big or special to commemorate the 1,000 day milestone. Because #foreverhappydays is about finding happiness in all the little moments. We know that all the days aren't happy, and that life is often hard and unfair. But finding happiness starts small. It starts with letting go of what you expected your life to be, and finding happiness in the life you live each and every day.

I wake up every single morning wishing that Grace would run into my bedroom, jump on the bed and wake me up with a big kiss. And I'd even welcome that at 5 a.m.! Yes, that would make me happy. But the reality of our life is that at this point, that's not a possibility. So, instead of hugs and "I love yous," I find happiness in Grace's smile, and the way that she appreciates the little things in life. Things like her favorite books, Minnie Mouse and all kinds of music. But most of all, Grace is happy when those she loves look at her and smile. I love to tell her about my day at work or things that I liked when I was her age. And even though she can't answer, I always ask about her day. She responds with a smile, and I know that she's found happy moments in her day too.

Day 533: No caption needed . . . 

Day 641 - Daddy's favorite ride at Walt Disney World.

Day 669 - Train ride at the St. Louis Zoo.

Day 810: Pure happiness.

In the end, we decided to make a video for Facebook, thanking everyone who has joined our Grace-Filled Journey and continues to watch for our #foreverhappydays photos each and every day. We ended it with a quote that Kyle's sister sent me after Grace was diagnosed with INAD. "When life gives you 100 reasons to cry, show it you have 1,000 reasons to smile."

There are some days that my tears are bigger than my smile, but #foreverhappydays reminds me to find that something that makes me happy. Most of the time, it's Kyle and Grace and the time we get to spend together. And through all our challenges, I feel blessed to call them my family.

Day 906: Sonogram pictures of her new little sister.

Day 943: Crazy Christmas shirts!

Day 996: There's ALWAYS a reason to smile each and every day!

Over the past 1,000 days, we've learned to cherish the time that we have together and keep looking for those moments that make us happy. It's not always easy, but it's definitely always worth it.

mlh

Singing Along With Pete the Cat

“The moral of Pete's story is:

No matter what you step in,

keep walking along and

singing your song. Because it's all good."

It's been several years since Kyle's aunt, Karen, introduced us to the infamous Pete the Cat.  Though we had never heard of the groovy, blue cat, he quickly became a favorite in our house, mostly for the great message of his books. Pete's motto for life is simply to keep on singing no matter what life throws your way.  

Somebody was excited during the Pete the Cat show!

And over the years, we've managed to gather quite a collection of Pete books.  Grace even has a stuffed Pete the Cat, given to her by the Hillsboro High School girls basketball team last season.

So, several weeks ago when some friends asked if we wanted to join them for a live Pete the Cat show in Springfield, it was easy to say yes.  The program was geared toward small children, and since many schools also participated, tickets to the show at Sangamon Auditorium were reasonable as well.

Grace was all smiles watching her daddy play skee ball.

Daddy showed Grace how to throw the balls up the alley.

We rearranged Grace's usual physical therapy schedule and made plans to see the show in the morning with our friends and their daycare crew.  Last year for Christmas, Grace and I even got coordinating Pete the Cat T-shirts, so we looked the part too!  Being eight months pregnant, mine was a little snug, but it still worked out okay.

Kyle had booked us accessible seats so we could take Grace's stroller in with us.  All the ushers were very helpful in getting us to our seats and making sure we had everything we needed.  We decided to hold Grace on our laps throughout the show so she could see better, and we shared snuggling duties throughout the 45-minute performance.

Trying their skills on a Simpsons game.

I had hoped we might hear some of the songs we sing from the Pete the Cat books during the show, but the story told a tale of its own.  And the length was just about perfect for Grace, who seemed to enjoy the music best of all.

As part of the story, Pete the Cat gets caught for trespassing and sentenced to live as a house cat for a week.  As his story unfolds, he takes his shenanigans to the kids, who learn some life lessons along the way as well.  Although I'm not sure Grace understood the entire story, she really enjoyed hearing the songs and would turn her head toward the stage when the music started playing.  It was such a fun show to be able to see together.

Grace got cool purple sunglasses with her tickets from the games!

Afterwards, our friends, Jason and Gina, invited us to join their daycare crew at Chuck E. Cheese for pizza and games.  It's been years since either Kyle or I had been to Chuck E. Cheese. In fact, the last time I went, it might have been known as Showbiz Pizza, where I had one of my birthday parties growing up.

We ordered our pizza and joined the rest of the crew.  It was fun to chat a bit with our friends and watch all the kids enjoy the games and rides.  We even made time to play a few games with Grace.  Even though she can't really play any of them, she laughed when Kyle and I played skee ball, and managed to earn her enough tickets for some cool, purple sunglasses.  We told Grace they were magic, just like the ones Pete the Cat wears.  

Grace and Pete took a nap on the way home from Springfield.

Before we knew it, Grace was getting tired, and we were ready to go home.  But we were glad we made time to take the trip.  It would have been easy to say no, we couldn't go because Grace wouldn't understand the live production. Or, no, we wanted to eat somewhere else for lunch because Grace wouldn't be able to play any of the games.

But, instead, we choose to treat Grace like the wonderful, bright-eyed five-year-old little girl that we've grown to love.  We held her and shared our delight during the musical and enjoyed her laughter when we played games at Chuck E. Cheese.  

Life is never going to be "normal" on this Grace-filled journey. And you can choose to focus on that, or you can make the best of all the challenges life throws your way, just like Pete the Cat. Trust me, when you just keep walking along and singing your song, you'll be glad that you did.

MLH