Grateful For Christmas

Hayes Carll has a Christmas song that I like called I'm Grateful For Christmas. It's kind of a tounge-in-cheek tribute to his family, talking about the joys of Christmas, regardless of how dysfunctional they may be. At least that's my take on it. Mr. Carll may have a vastly different one.

Regardless, I can say that I am also grateful for Christmas this year as well. This year has been a roller coaster, from dealing with Grace's diagnosis, to the death of Mary's grandmother, to the ever present hectic nature of the newspaper business. Actually, that makes it sound more like the Giant Slide at the state fair rather than a roller coaster, but I assure you there have been a fair share of ups to go along with the downs.

While INAD has robbed Grace of some of her abilities, it hasn't robbed her of her spirit, which is sparkling as ever. She never ceases to bring a smile to my face whenever I see her, even when the reality of her diagnosis seems too much to bear.

The support of our family is one of the biggest reasons for my gratitude and I'm looking forward to spending time with them this holiday season. Each one has been there for us during our times of joy and sorrow, as we would be for them.

I'm also grateful for my community. The way that people have stepped up to show their support for Grace financially has been overwhelming. While we recently made a donation to the INAD study at Washington University for $70,000 on behalf of all of those who have contributed, Mary figures that the amount donated in Grace's name is closer to $95,000 when all is said and done. And it continues to pour in, with another $2,000-plus brought in over the last few weeks.

 What I'm truly grateful for though are the things that haven't cost a dime. The Lincolnwood volleyball team playing in THREE Volley for Grace games. Grace's name on the side of Lindsey Storm's shoe and the way she, Carly Cameron and Maddy Reck made it a point to come over and talk to my little girl. The trip to see the North Dakota State basketball team, who has adopted us into their "Bison Family" even though we are hundreds of miles away. The Lincolnwood High school soccer team coming to participate in the Grace Filled 5K, not a player... but the entire team. And many more examples than I have room to list.

Most of all I'm grateful for the coaches, players, fans and friends, who have asked how Grace was doing while I've been covering their respective teams. Talking about Grace's condition isn't always the most fun topic, but I always appreciate people's concern for my daughter and my family's well being.

We don't know what the future will bring, but this year has taught me that life is more important than a missed call on the basketball court or a typo in a story or if something doesn't go just the way I thought it would.

Like Mr. Carll says, "I'm grateful for Christmas this year," but not just for Christmas. I'm grateful for each and every day that I get to spend with my beautiful wife and daughter in this community that apparently loves us a lot. If that's not reason enough to be grateful, then I sure don't know what is.

KRH

Merry Grinchmas!

"The Grinch hated Christmas, the whole Christmas season. Now, please don't ask why. No one quite knows the reason."

As someone who has always loved Christmas, I had trouble getting into the merriment of the season this year. But thanks to a beautiful blonde haired little girl, I think my heart managed to grow three sizes this year.

It started with the shopping.  My mom and I always go Black Friday shopping. Not that we go very many places or looking for any particular deals. We go because it's a tradition, and because it's something we enjoy doing together.  We only go to Walmart in Litchfield, and we try NOT to go during the craziness.  

Hillsboro's Christmas theme this year was "How the Grinch Stole Hillsboro," but I felt a little Grinch-ish myself this season. Grace, on the other hand, LOVED the Grinch!

This year, as we made our way to the toys, I found myself tearing up a bit. The aisles were full of the latest Disney princess toys, Legos, puzzles, games, and everything that would delight a child on Christmas morning. Any child, except mine that is. With Grace's continuing limitations of mobility, there just aren't many toys she can play with anymore. I work hard at trying to find gifts (and give ideas) of things that will work for Grace. She LOVES Minnie Mouse, books, music and balls of any size. 

But as we walked through the aisles, I couldn't help but wish that she could write a letter to Santa, telling him all the things she would like to have, instead of things I find for her. I ended up leaving with cat food and Pediasure, thankfully neither of which were Christmas gifts. 

Grace thought the Grinch was a lot of fun to visit.

Armed with a better idea of what I would need to get started on my Christmas shopping, mom and I took Grace on a Monday in December, and had the best time ever. In fact, I told mom that shopping trip could be my entire Christmas present, because I had such a good time.  Instead of focusing on what Grace couldn't do or couldn't have, I found myself excited for the things I discovered for her, once again taking a step back to remember that this season isn't about "things."

As much as I love to get mail, even the barrage of Christmas cards seemed to get me down. Each one featured perfect family photos with kids, and letters sharing things Grace will never be able to do. But today, when Kyle brought in a HUGE stack of cards, I smiled as I opened each one, reminded of the giver who sent it. Sending cards and letters in the mail always brings me such joy (even if I don't get around to my Christmas cards until January). Just knowing those people stopped to take the time in their busy holiday plans to remember us this Christmas season, made me realized how truly blessed we are to be surrounded by such love.

Then, I started to find myself a little discouraged about taking her to see Santa. I wished she could have that childlike faith and magic when she set eyes on him. And while Grace will probably never actually understand the story of Santa, she still had a great time both of the visits we took her too. The last time we took her, I really think she would have sat on his lap all afternoon. She might not have any idea what it means to be Santa, but it didn't take away from her happiness, or mine.

Grace's first visit with Santa this season. And it was a HUGE hit!

Tonight, we attended what's called a "longest night" service at my church. I had never heard of it before, but as soon as I read Pastor Joy's description of it in the bulletin, I knew it was something we wouldn't miss.  It was designed for those who have trouble finding joy in the Christmas season. Maybe it's the first Christmas without a loved one, or someone who is unemployed and can't find a way to buy all those "things," that Christmas entails.

It spoke to me because I have just really had trouble finding joy in the Christmas season this year. Over and over again I ask why Grace has to be sick. But Pastor Joy encouraged us to change our "whys" into "hows" as in, "how can I serve God better?" And it hit particularly close to home. In the scriptures she shared with us, she talked about busting myths, things like "God took that one home because he needed them" or "God won't give you more than you can handle," and shared that God's promise is that he will always be with us no matter what. And it was comforting. 

Another visit with Santa. I really think Grace would have stayed all day if I would have let her.

Another unique part of the service was in the sharing of communion. Pastor Joy passed the bread to everyone and she gave the chalice to someone in the front row, who passed it to someone else until everyone had gotten it. It was a way to show that we all share in this journey together, and it was very moving.

There's days that this journey seems to big for me. The Amy Grant Christmas song "Breath of Heaven" often echoes in my head "Should a wiser one have taken my place?" Although I found myself thinking that I wish God had picked someone wiser or stronger earlier this Christmas season, I find strength in knowing that He's equipping us with everything we need for this journey. Yes, the road will be hard, especially at Christmas, but this Grinch knows she's never alone.

mlh

Christmas Traditions

It's definitely beginning to look a lot like Christmas at our house, and I love it! 

Much to Kyle's chagrin, I would listen to Christmas music all year round. From my very favorite, John Denver and the Muppets to Amy Grant, Michael W. Smith, and a new hit, Straight No Chaser, I would sing along in every room of our house.  But most years I wait until Thanksgiving is over before I begin.

Grace with her Elf on the Shelf. You can see our nativity scene in the background.

And that's usually about when we start decorating the house. It's kind of funny, blending a variety of holiday traditions. Kyle's family likes live trees, while mine mostly used artificial. 

Kyle and Grace getting ready to set up the tree!

Kyle and Grace hanging up our new ornament from Hawaii, the first one on the tree!

 The very first year we were married, we lived in an apartment, and just didn't make time to decorate the small, artificial tree I had for several years. One night, I just broke down in tears that we didn't have a tree. And Kyle came home with what's lovingly become known as the Christmas shrub, where we could hang a few "Our First Christmas Together" ornaments. Although it didn't make it out this year, it usually sits right by the front door of our house as a reminder of that first Christmas together.

Family selfie in front of the Christmas tree.

Since them, we have had both live and artificial trees. Although the last time the live tree fell over, we made the switch to artificial, and actually use Kyle's grandma's old Christmas tree, which is a nice tradition itself.

We both grew up with lots of ornaments, but our tree seems to be full of ornaments we have gotten together. From our first Christmas to the blown glass heart we brought home from our honeymoon in Italy to the pirate ship I gave Kyle one year, our Christmas tree tells our story, and that's what makes it so much fun to put up.  Grace even has quite the collection of ornaments.

Some of my favorite decorations are the ones on the piano that Grace has made (like her handprint plate).

I think this is the first year we haven't fought putting up the tree either.  Maybe we are getting older and wiser, or maybe we are starting to figure out the things that really matter. It doesn't matter if the lights are strung just so or how the branches are fluffed. What matters is the love in the story that it tells.

I was really proud of how quickly we got our Christmas tree up this year. That being said, we have few other Christmas decorations around the house. Not that I don't have boxes of them in the basement, but we just haven't made the time to get them all out.  Our stockings are hung carefully in the living room, including the awesome new photo stocking Andrea Ruppert had made for Grace.  We love it!

We love reading Christmas books!

One thing I made sure to get up this year is our nativity set. One of the first gifts Kyle's parents gave me was the starter set to a Willow Tree nativity, and they add a new piece each year. This year, it managed to take two shelves of the bookcase, and it helps me remember the reason for the season.  I can still remember helping mom to set up her wooden nativity set each year as we decorated for Christmas and sharing the story together.  Grace and I play with her Little People nativity and talk about Jesus's birthday.  She likes the angel that sings the best.

Another holiday tradition that's making its second appearance at our house this year is the Elf on the Shelf.  That's not something either Kyle or I had growing up, but my mom got one for Grace, and we have had a lot of fun with it too. We don't always remember to move him every night, but Grace sure likes to snuggle with him.

The Elf on the Shelf has become a fun, family tradition.

Our outside lights didn't make it up this year, although I'm still hopeful to get our inflatable Mickey and Minnie set up in the front yard. But I'm okay with that. There would have been times in the not-so-distant past, I would have worried about when we got our lights up, how the decorations looked or even how much we got out. Now, it's about remembering why we gather together for the season.

The last few nights, I have rocked Grace to sleep in the living room where we can both see the brightly colored lights on the Christmas tree. I sing some of my favorite Christmas carols and she just watches the lights. It's become a new favorite tradition, one that I hope we can celebrate for many years to come.